How to Finally Unravel Your Deepest Pain

Have you ever gotten so upset with something or let something that isn’t a big deal really ruin your entire day, only for you to turn around and ask yourself, “Why did I let that impact me?”

When insignificant events have big impacts on our lives and cause our emotions to go awry, it can typically be traced back to our conditioning. You see, we have all been conditioned by our environments and by the people who impacted us as we grew up. Our parents do their best, but in the end, they are only doing what they know. And so, we become conditioned to certain believes and triggers. 

For instance, when I was younger, I had to fly back and forth to live between my mother’s and father’s house. The main reason for this was because my mom didn’t have much money, and it was difficult taking care of her kids. She did her best and did what she thought she had to do to provide for us. As a result, my brother and I would bounce back and forth, living with my mother and my father, both who live in separate parts of the country. When I was a kid, getting on the flight to go back to my dad’s, I would cry because I never knew when I was going to see her again. 

Today, I have fears of abandonment and live with a scarcity mindset, and I know this is because I feared my parents abandoning me over and over again as a child. The scarcity mindset comes from never knowing where money was coming from when I was with my mother and watching her stress about it. 

Now, the past is affecting my present in ways I could never have imagined. 

How Your Past Conditioning Impacts Your Present Happiness

Let me tell you a story of something that happened to me on Halloween. I let something so small, upset me so much that I let it interfere with my time with my family. I even missed out on trick or treating with my kids. 

That Friday, my company was getting ready to launch a Holiday Detox and Reset Bundle, and it was going to be our Halloween sale. By the prior Tuesday, my team and I had everything mapped out. We had all the marketing angles, the name of the package, and I even recorded a video for it. So far, everything was great, and everyone was on board. 

I was pumped to get this offer going for Halloween. 

Then, come Friday, I open my email, and I don’t see the Holiday Detox and Reset Bundle. Instead, I see a Total Wellness Package. This was not what was discussed and planned. The entire marketing was different, and it didn’t even match the video I recorded for it. 

It was like that initial meeting never happened, and boy was I triggered. I let it ruin my entire day. 

Now, the mistake was quickly fixed, and the Holiday Detox and Reset Bundle were available, but it was that first email that just hit me. When I saw it, the pain body struck me right at my core, and for some reason, I just could not shake it. 

Looking back, I know I had this reaction due to the past conditioning of how I was raised. It wasn’t just the fear of abandonment by my team, nor was it the scarcity mindset of the change, not working, and then not making a profit. This combination all hit me at once, and I did not know how to deal with it. 

In the end, it wasn’t that big of a deal, but it triggered me so bad that it ended with my missing out on trick or treat with my family. Why did I let it do that? 

Instead, I stayed home and dug deep, trying to figure out why was triggered so bad and why I was so emotional about it. More importantly, I needed to know how to overcome it so that my past conditioning would no longer be controlling my present actions. 

Unravel Your Pain and Let it Go

When these emotions emerge, you must sit with those emotions. Sit with it and feel it for what it is. Don’t judge it, and don’t criticize it. Sit with it and allow yourself to feel it. 

Accept that you are feeling the way that you are and tell yourself that there’s an opportunity here to reflect and go back. It is also an opportunity to move forward and not allow yourself to be held hostage by your past conditioning, triggers, and emotions. 

It is time to breakthrough, and when you get an opportunity to gain awareness and reflect on your emotions, you can overcome it. Let go of the identity that is attached to this past conditioning and break through the triggers. 

Yes, this lesson sucked, and I missed Halloween with my kids, but I can say one thing for certain: That will never happen again. 

Now, I challenge you to raise your standard by bringing more consciousness into your life. We all have an obligation to raise our collective consciousness. Go deep and don’t be afraid to challenge your identity, beliefs, and past conditioning.  

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