How I Changed My Personality to Become a Better Father

Lately, I’ve been taking some time to learn more about myself and where my thoughts come from, why I think the way I do, and how I became the person I am today. I’m really delving into my past and trying to figure out how much of who I am and what I think is due to past conditioning. I want to know who or what in my past made me who I am. 

The reason I’ve wanted to learn more about my past is so that I can continue to grow in the future. If we take a step back, we can all agree that there is something that we would want to change in our life, whether it be something physical about us, our health, financial success, how we respond to certain situations, or perhaps we just want to get better at a specific talent we have. Whatever it is, there is something that we would all like to change and get better at. It is in our nature to want to improve and grow. 

Creating this change and growing isn’t always easy, and that is because there is still something that gets in our way to challenge us. This is why I have been digging into my past to learn more about my own past conditioning so I can move forward and grow in the future. 

In the past, I have been through major changes, and each of these changes has led to personal growth for me. When I was 31, my world collapsed. I went bankrupt and was going through a divorce. I had also spent years leading up to that point as an addict. I hit rock bottom, and I knew I had to make a change. 

For many of us, we need to hit rock bottom in order to create that needed change in our lives. It is that moment of “do or die,” and you have no choice but to pick yourself up and create something better out of yourself. 

Change often comes when we hit the point where we are sick and tired of being sick and tired, so we have to do something about it. 

But what if we wanted to make that change before we hit rock bottom; before we were left with no place to go but up?

I believe the reason it is so difficult for us to change is that we become so attached to our past identity, and it is this attachment that can eventually lead to that out of control spiral that causes us to hit rock bottom. If you disengage from the identity you are currently holding, even if it is not a desirable identity, then who are you? If you let it go and begin to accept change, do you still know who you are? 

If you want to change the output and create growth in your life, then you need to change your thoughts. Let go of your past conditioning, change the way you think about yourself and the world around you, and then change your environment. Learn to separate your life from your current situation. If you are unhappy, don’t say your life sucks, learn to say your situation sucks. When you narrow it down to a situation, you can identify what needs to change so you can move forward. 

Do You Know Who You Are? 

Your past conditioning makes you who you are. If you didn’t live the life that you had, you wouldn’t be living the life that you live now. Your past conditioning has determined who you are today. Today, you relive the thoughts that you had yesterday, and a lot of what you do today is what you did yesterday. You are living your life through a conditioned filter. Your life is made up of a series of past situations, just as my life today is made up of the struggles that led to me hitting rock bottom.  

Once you understand this, you can start shaping the person you want to be. Shape the person you want to be my shaping your environment and changing your language. Talk about what you want and who you want to be, then change your environment to reflect this. 

From here on, talk about who you are going to become and then step into that identity. Stop holding onto the identity you have now and let it go. Free yourself from the person you think you have to be and become the person you want to be. 

If you want the change, you have to accept the change and become aware of the things we need to change to create growth. Think new thoughts. Push yourself into new environments. Have new experiences. Have the awareness of your past conditioning, and take charge of your new identity. 

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